Desi Train

Originally published on Passion For Cinema

After years have we seen such a smashing, wonderful, gripping, movie to grace the silver screen. Guru Ghantal Varma (aka GGV) the director has definitely redeemed himself after such beautiful but badly rejected films like GGV ki Aag, NoShabd and Bekar Raj.

After finishing the 90 odd minutes of Contract on a DVD, oztrac walks out for a breather. And VOILA! Across the street is the great Guru Ghantal Varma is beach shorts and ganji (no not a bald woman, but a vest), walking in surf sandals, gracing the streets of Newport Beach, Orange County with Bimbo and BiggerBimbo on his either side, whom one may guess have been offered GGV’s next projects - Thook and More Bekar Raj. Unfortunately his proposed project GGV ki Paani has been temporarily shelved.

ozTrac is a bit apprehensive approaching GGV, knowing his slap and walk away kind of conversations he generally has with the general public in a general place on his not so general blog (a general example)

Nervously ozTrac approaches GGV

ozTrac: Namaste Sir. Hope I’m not disturbing you. But I’m a big fan of your work and wanted to say hello.

GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. When GGV need alone time, only Bimbo get GGV time.

ozTrac: Thank you Sir. That I will Sir. But before I go, let me congratulate you on your latest Contract. Whaaat a moooovie Sar whaaat a Movie.

GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. I bring no one close to me. Those coming close get big bamboo.

ozTrac: That I will Sir. Thank you Sir. But what a movie this Contract Saar. Whaat a movie. Even Doordarshan could never produce a play that had so much going into so little. This waaas your bestest movie Saar. How do you do it each time every time?

GGV: Get lost fuck off. GGV makes time. Time does not make GGV.

ozTrac: Thank you Saar. I will Saar. Just wanted to tell you how I enjoyed your hero becoming superman and killing everyone in 52.5 seconds flat. But people are questioning that scene Saar? Your comments…

GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. What GGV wants (looks at the breasts of Bimbo, slurps)… GGV gets.

ozTrac: So true Saar. So true. How you making human speak in the language of Martians and making it so believable, it is truly amazing Sir. Characters in your films are no longer characters… they are DDG… dialogue demi gods. Yet so many people did not like it, which I cannot understand Saar.

GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. GGV gets what GGV like (buries face in BiggerBimbo’s assets). People don’t like my movie… they should get lost, fuck off.

ozTrac: Such great dialogues coming from your mouth making my eyes going water water Saar. So much water flowing down and yet this zaalim(Hinglish: watch any Bollywood movie that has a character called “thakur”, “Zamindaar”) duniya think you are blowing producers’ money by making crap. Can you believe this Saar… they calling Contract Crap.

GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. GGV behind is pumped with money from producers’ pump. Let all crap people find such behind, such pump and attempt to make movie. Then GGV will review their crap.

ozTrac. So True Saar So True. And so well said. Years ago even I had asked similar question to the respectable Shakti Kapoor on why after getting chance after chance after chance he never was able to rape the heroine in the movies. Bullshit! Then the respectable Mr. Shakti Kapoor too had snapped back at me and challenged me to act in movie and try raping heroine. The two incidents are so similar O great GGV… thank you for opening my eyes.

GGV: Get lost Fuck off. GGV rapes what GGV likes. If GGV doesn’t like, GGV gets raped.

ozTrac: So true Saar So true. Before I leave, would you like me to assist you in showing Ms. Bimbo around Newport Beach? This area my area I know very well.

GGV: Get lost

ozTrac: Thank you Saar… how about Ms. BiggerBimbo?

GGV: Fuck off.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 24th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Filed under Bollywood, Movie Reactions
Tags : Bollywood, Ram Gopal Varma.

Views : 1,295 views
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