Desi Train

It was the third day after marriage that I felt the ring. Life had been running helter skelter. Morning, Day and Night. It was a casual dinner, and the guests refused to accompany To be Biwi and me. It was awkward. For two years we’d been going out, but it was the first time we were at my favorite Italian eatery… after marriage. And my brains were going ‘What the fuck is there to talk about?’… really what the fuck is there to talk about. We’d been talking for over two years. There has to be a bottom of the conversation barrel.

So I went on a monosyllable drive sandwiched between silences while Biwi went on her story telling mode. Me having mastered the art of nodding periodically (every 15 seconds) while my eyes remain open and my head is swimming in an ocean of thoughts knocking my rusty brain door.

A few drinks later, somehow I find myself talking. Past, present and future. Biwi has the knack of getting me to talk. Very few do.

It was nice. The energy was good. The mood light. The light just romantic. And then somehow the brain starts singing “Tashan mein… Tashan mein… Tashan mein… Tashan mein…”

I look around. Beautiful lovely women all around the restaurant. And before I could think of the next thought based on what my eyes had just captured… the ring… I felt it on my finger…

I am married.

That’s what I had to remind myself at that moment and for the next few days each time when my eyes would glance at leggy or a blond or a blond leggy walking by. Now it’s become a sort of a habit. It’s as if I’ve shut them out. The eyes, mind, brains etc. don’t even bother anymore when a beauty walks by… (and you know I’m lying. I have to, cause Biwi reads my blog. Though if my theory works, anything in ()paranthesis will appear as a blank white space to her. Lord Rama please help)

The ring was the starter. The constant reminder that I’m now married to a wonderful woman, came from other tools, process, equipments that I now believe is a secret ploy by Biwi.

So when you enter the bathroom all groggy eyed, lids half shut, turn the water on, right hand reaches for your shaving foam, you put it all over your stubble and take your razer out, you notice the feeling of you Gillette foam.

It’s something different this morning. You open your eyes fully and look in the mirror. The foam is white alright, but it just feels different. Your eyes turn to the foam can.

Mystery solved. You’ve just applied “Soft and Silky Satin touch” foam used by women all over to say bye bye to unwanted hair.

I’m married. No doubt about it.

The bathroom floor is now filled with various packs of various things women do to their body during a shower. I see two different types of shampoo, a few conditioners, a few “before bath” lotions, a few “during bath” lotions and of course a few “after bath lotions”. So when ever I slide my shower door to enter in, like Lord Hanumanji I have to jump over this three dozen bottles to reach the shower.

Gone are the days when entering your shower was a cakewalk.

My toothpicks are now in the kitchen. My floss has gone for a toss. While all the things that were within an arms reach in the bathroom are now in the cabinet under the washbasin, that at 6am in the morning, has me going down on all my floors on the cold bathroom floor to reach for in the damn cabinet.

Now some of you stinking minds must be thinking. This is guy is such an ass. He surely must have asked for dowry.

Well I didn’t but nevertheless have received one. The dowry is called “Momar”. A jet black cat.

My mom almost fainted when she heard that “HAI OH RABBA!!! BILLI AND THAT TOO BLACK!!! HO GAYA KALYAN”

The marriage was almost called off, but then I assured my mom that I am a master of careful planning, whether it’s building businesses around ideas or killing a cat in a dark alley on a full moon night.

Yet however fun or jokes I make off dear Biwi on here, there is a sense of relief. That life can now be shared and the loads, responsibilities, burdens are now carried by not just one but two of us. Evenings are light.

My romantic dreams are coming to life. Watching Biwi run between putting the clothes in the dryer to trying out her latest invention of making dal (please don’t ask)… I love sitting in the living room, reading a book and just watching her. And then inbetween all this she suddenly looks at me and gives me the crazy look followed by the 1000 watt smile…

And then the ring strikes again. I realize I’m married. A long journey has ended. I’m tired and rest in her warmth and glow.

A new journey has just begun.

Touch Wood.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 21st, 2008 at 10:17 am and is filed under Family Guy.
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