Archive for March, 2008

Black & White : Su bash it up

Monday, March 24th, 2008
Mr. Sticky Eyes comes on screen in the 3rd minute after the opening reels and stares at us. Mr. Sticky eyes comes up in every 30 seconds thereafter until the movie ends and stares at us. Ms. Chum Chum Chamiya, comes on screen in the 20th minute and looks at us with googly, gooly, gooyi gooyi eyes. This happens consistently whenever she appears in the 30th, 50th, 80th minute of the movie. Mr. Professor comes in the 15th minute and announces that he is an Urdu Professor. How can you be so sure? Because he said so. In the the 15th, 16, 19th, 25th, 36th, 55th, 66th, 76th, 85th and some other minutes of the movie. So if a ...
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Posted in Bollywood, Movie Reactions | 992 views | 5 Comments »

My Small Thin Punjabi Wedding - 4: Friday Furniture

Friday, March 21st, 2008
A group of aspiring pickup artists surrounded a Pickup Guru at a bar listening to his advice. The Pickup Guru, a wise man, married and occasionally ventured out to help shy, lonely guys come out of their locked in states of static mental freeze. An extremely hot and sexy woman, all by herself walked into the bar and quickly glanced around to check the people out. The wise man softly uttered "Some guy somewhere got very bored of this sexy woman"... and he ended there. What he meant, is now up to you single shy guys to interpret, imbibe and absorb and take it as deeper as you want to to kickstart your journey to meeting woman and finding "the one". ...
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Posted in Family Guy, Life Flava | 881 views | 3 Comments »

My Small Thin Punjabi Wedding - 3 : The War on Bugs

Monday, March 17th, 2008
About a million or probably a thousand or perhaps a few hundred odd years ago, the first bug - the father or probably the mother (I haven't forgotten the Desan Guns) of all the bed bugs, went to the Himalayas to perform severe penance and the Lord appeared... Lord : "O dear bug... I am pleased with your penance, ask for anything and it shall be granted." And the bastard bug must have asked for "Let me never be killed by air, water, weapon... by man or animal... in day or at night... inside the house or outside... under the bed or over the bed... in the underwear or outside it... under the shoe or over it... by hunger or overfeeding" And ...
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Posted in Family Guy, Life Flava | 1,192 views | 5 Comments »

Friday Clouds : The lack of Corporate love

Friday, March 14th, 2008
It's cloudy and the forecasts predict rain this weekend. The entire house is in the backyard, except our mattresses, pillows, a futon and of course the television. After trashing all my first bought furniture 2 days ago, I went to IKEA to buy the replacements. Unfortunately, I'm being advised by fellow bedbuggers (yes people fighting bedbugs are now officially known as bed buggers) that it's a bad idea. The Pest Control came in yesterday and sprayed the house. Problem is they can't kill the eggs that hatch every two weeks. Bed Bugs - they are the worst. Been fighting the bedbug war since the last two weeks and I'm exhausted. There is still no victory in sight. Was bitten again last ...
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Posted in Friday Masala | 680 views | 6 Comments »

My Small Thin Punjabi Wedding - 2 : Pa.. pa.. pa… Priorities

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008
Washed all my clothes last weekend. ALL. Yes I mean all. Wait. There's this entire stack of Hugo Boss suits, dress shirts, woolen pants, sweaters - which took up two 60 gallon boxes. These were shipped to the laundry yesterday. Anything else that I've forgotten to wash? Damn it, the rugs, the towels, the very clothes I'm wearing, the shoes that need to go out in the sun, the blankets, the mattress cover, the pillows and their covers, the bed sheets, the bed covers... YAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH If after reading the above, you, dear reader think, that I'm doing all this mighty Olympic cleaning for the marriage, then I would humbly and kindly and most sweetly like to inform you that you are ...
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Posted in Family Guy, Life Flava | 906 views | 10 Comments »

My Small Thin Punjabi Wedding - 1 : Punditji O Punditji

Monday, March 10th, 2008
Dial a number Get ringtone on my phone Tata tata tatatataaaaa tatata tata tata tatatataaaaaaaaaaaaaa tatata Hello... Pundit BMG speaking Punditiji, namashkar. My name is oz. My friend Mo gave me your number and asked me to speak to you Oh Mo! Yes yes. Who died? (me confused) No one Who is going to die? Huh? No one Oh! Achcha achacha... so who has been dead? What was the relation of the deceased to you? (what the fuck is going on here?) Punditji, no one I know is dead, died or is on the death bed. I'm calling for a marriage ceremony that I need to ask you to conduct. What? Marriage ceremony? No no I do funerals * * * I'm going to kill Mo. Out of the list of 6 pundits ...
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Posted in Family Guy, Life Flava | 1,052 views | 12 Comments »

Will you marry me?

Monday, March 3rd, 2008
I never in my life thought I would ask "the" question. Today, I am. It's been 3 years since we met... and I sit here on my blog asking you this question... For 3 years you've stood rock solid next to me. In all my ups and downs, that life has dished out. You've seen me strong. You've seen me crushed in depression. You've seen the joker, the clown, the dreamer, the playboy, the short temper, the friend, the lover, the son, the devoted-to-you... the man... You've stayed calm and composed in my emotional swings, in my clamped up days, in those busy ones... you've cared for me when I lay sick, or rushed in my arms when I came back ...
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Posted in Life Flava | 2,262 views | 51 Comments »