Desi Train

It isn’t everyday that you get the key to a secret door leading to a room you never knew existed ever. Though you pass by the room each day of your life… you never knew there was this room, filled with naked ladies, vibrating dildos, men with dicks that would put hammers in your tool box to shame, sex oozing out of the lights of that room… it was tempting to check out the site further given accidentally to me by the lady (Part 1)…

It was a secret job site to get into the porn industry. As a writer, technician, cameraman, grip anything you could think of behind the camera on a porn video set. If you were an actor who wanted to act in porn, it’s no problem. There are tons and tons of agencies with websites out there looking for actors to work in porn videos. But for anything else… the search usually would yield nothing. It’s as if the porn industry did not need anyone else to make a movie.

Of course during your 9-5 jobs where you spend 8 hours browsing the internet, you could come across such sporadic ads which scream you could make money in Porn… like this one :

Make 10$ an hour for watching porn. Click on the link and register and start making big bucks

Trust me guys, if there was any truth to the above ad, the whole world would be watching porn and making 10 dollars an hour or more. It’s just plain stupid. You’ve got to have scrambled eggs inside your head instead of brains to believe that above ad. Only an mother fucking idiot would respond to ads like these.

So I click on the link in order to make 10 dollars an hour. I register. The site wants me to download a software that they say “Will Time Your Watching Porn inorder to Pay You”. In normal circumstances this would have been a big NO NO. But what can I do… the rent needs to be paid in 7 days.

So I download the software.

That day of downloading the software and until today, I have yet to watch any porn. Instead I get popup ads shooting all over my screen, when I open anything on my computer.

Anything.

Open the web browser and you get a porn-ad on my screen… “Shave your dick hair and look handsome”… Opening Microsoft Word to modify your resume gives you another popup ad “Watch Porn right from your Word document… absolutely free”… Opening an excel sheet gives you “$3.99 cents for 10 days of porn… and you don’t need an Excel sheet to calculate the bargain”… You double click on my clock and you get “Is it Time for Porn yet?”…

This $10/hour job isn’t working for me.

I visit the website again and check if there is a way to uninstall the software. Thank God… they do have instructions to how to uninstall the software from the computer. It’s quite simple and 3 easy steps. Pay $39.99 for a new software that will uninstall the first software.

In short. I’m screwed.

Moral of the story… be wary of such frivolous ads. $10 an hour to watch porn. My foot.

Anyways back to the secret website. I start looking at job ads… It’s a porn job site. So surely there are links from porn models and actresses’ agent advertising their client too. You are a guy. There are twenty links leading to porn actresses’ “Resumes”…. out of inquisitiveness you click to innocently read and watch the resume.

Now I’m not sure what Mr. Sahil from India is doing on an employment website. Because as far as I understand there is a clear difference between actors and escorts. So there you are searching for a porn actress’s resumes but are seeing resumes for escorts. Mr. Sahil it seems, isn’t an agent but a pimp.

Well you move on. You have better things to do remember? So now, you are searching for actors resumes on the porn job-site. They are sophisticated. These sites I tell ya.

The site gives you a whole lot of tools to search for models’ resumes. And whoever designed the search tool, I kid you not, is one sick guy who needs psychiatric help immediately. Check the search tool out :

So it has all the physical characteristics you as a producer are looking for along with what you want the actors to do in the options column.

So if one selects a girl, blonde and in options chooses “ATM” what the hell does it mean. That the producers is looking for a girl to fuck the ATM machine? That is one sick thing. The ATM machines are huge. HELL THEY ARE BIGGER ANY GIRL… ok most of the girls on planet earth.

Then somethings leave you confused like the option B/B/G/Anal… ok I get it the B stands for boy, G for girl… but who’s fucking whom and who’s going Anal? And by Anal are you saying you are giving it to someone or taking it from someone…? How does the sequence work out? Boy does second boy… second boy does girl and then all three look with confused looks at each other over who’s gonna go Anal?

Terribly confusing this.

What if you as a producer are looking for a Male actor. And then you select the Option ‘Double A’… What the hell is ‘Double A’… Do you wanna check the actor’s grades in School if he got a double A? If so what the hell do the grades in School have to do with having sex on camera? Damn it… getting into porn business is getting so tough.

If you browse the “dictionary” section of the site you realize the “A” in the double A stands for “ANAL”… oh ok! We get it now… so the option is for double Anal… two dicks one ass.

WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING SHIT IS THAT? You selected a male actor and clicked Double A… WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? The mere mention of gay porn has you taking a shower 20 times that day, and here a producer may be looking for twice the act… Double A…

This search tool gets sicker and sicker…

I moved on to search for more jobs on the site… this searching the resume thingy was just sick… I restarted the search… sure enough there were jobs available… more on it tomorrow…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007 at 10:37 am
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