Desi Train

Step 1: If you are not in Delhi, go to Step 2. If you are in Delhi, go to Step 3

Step 2: Go to Delhi.

Step 3: Take a car, bus, rickshaw, auto, taxi, walk or swim via the ultra clean Yamuna river to… Step 4

Step 4: Go to Delhi-U.P. border, Go to Step 10. If you do not know anything about Delhi-UP border go to Step 5.

Step 5: Buy a map of India

Step 6: Scratch your stupid coconut (brains) to search for something called ‘DELHI’ in the map.

Step 7: Find Delhi

Step 8: Find Delhi’s border in the map. Border is something that is a dark black contoured line around the word called “DELHI” in the map.

Step 8: Find the word “UTTAR PRADESH” next to this dark black contoured line.

Step 9: The common dark black line between Delhi and Uttar Pradesh is called the Delhi-UP border. If you still haven’t found this… go to a temple alone at night… look at Lord Shiva and scream “Aaj khush toh bahoot hoge tum (today you will be very happy)… for seeing that I finally have realized that I’m a born idiot”… walk out of the temple and enroll in the nearest institution of Idiots, if there exists such a thing. If not, get drunk and visit Desi Train regularly, without fail, but don’t read this post for it may prompt you to visit Lord Shiva each time you reach Step 9… which probably will occur for the rest of your life.

Step 10: Reach Delhi-UP border. Go to a bus stand, cinema house, any farm land, any police station, any law-court, probably anywhere you can place your two fucking feet on the ground.

Step 11: Scream : I WANT A GUN

Step 12: Someone will rush to you and sell you a gun.

Step 13: For a video representation of this idiots guide, please watch this:

Step 14: Realize that searching for a gun seller in India is as easy as searching for a black marketeer (scalper) selling tickets of a housefull movie outside any movie theater in India.

Step 15: If you lose the bought gun, go to Step 1.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 6th, 2007 at 9:48 pm and is filed under News Catch.
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