Broke-ing Point
“So what do you do?”
“Well… I used to be in management… but resigned from my Director’s post, to take a break and see what I would “really” like to do… I know it’s gonna be Cinema… anything that can make use of my passion, knowledge and experience… oh! You are from Movies… do you have anything for me?”
“Hmmpfff… excuse me… I need to talk to someone. Bye”
Rewind the above conversation a million times. The person in italics is yours truly. Just keep switching the other character everytime you hit “Play” after rewinding.
So what’s new? Nothing actually. You already knew all along that this was a tough to break into industry even if you had loads of management experience and passion for the medium. Nope. The assistant secretary at the production house who files nails for a living is the next International Marketing coordinator, since the production house believe in offering benefits to people within them. A double MBA, an engineering degree, working in multiple countries and various industries for around 15 years, does not give them the confidence that you are better than Ms. 9-to-5-nail-polishing-secretary.
Life in Movies… behind the screen, that is, … is like that only.
This is unique an industry. Nobody is gonna give you work based on what degrees or experience you may have. Nope. You have to be seen for years and been associated with “movies” for you to be considered. Your talent, experience, management skills do not count.
And the about turn when people hear you… is worst. It’s as if the words “I’m looking to work in this industry” somehow presses an “eject” button in them.
If you have to be in this industry, doing whatever, producer, direction, actor, technician, marketing, management… whatever… you have to start young, as soon as possible. I’m finding this the hard way - even when I knew it, yet there was this glimmer of hope.
Hope extinguished.
Luck. Wohi toh nahin hain
There is a new phobia, I’ve developed ever since I resigned two months ago. The phobia is literally called “Check Bank Balance”
MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH… I’ve never trembled while checking my account balance… it’s as if I’m seeing a ghost. The lower my balance goes, the bigger the ghost gets.
My account balance today stands at 30 bucks.
I know I don’t wanna go back to doing what I left. And I’m yet to know what exactly is my role gonna be in this industry of cinema.
Last night I was thinking about friends and class mates. All of them married, kids, wife, job.
And then I look at myself. What am I doing? All friends have a 5 year or a 10 year future plan and they are half way through it.
Me. There was never a plan. Always an impulse… and here I am. Passion, Impulse and no definite picture of me doing something in cinema - in sight.
The Breaking Point isn’t far. But before that comes…
My Broke-ing Point. Life, as it is, plays another game of hunting… and I’m the hunted.
And here’s what I’m doing to escape the shoot down…
May 16th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Hey Oz,
Loking at people who have plans nd all is good..but trust me, its the passion that really counts…will take long, yes, may be longer, breaking points yes..but then one who follows his passions will emerge as the winner…coz that’s the way it is and that’s the way it should be.
Hold on.
Lots of love and hugs
May 16th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Hold on tight brother…..there are a few at whom you look and say..wow….but, there are many who look at you and say…wish i was oz….
No breking-point there for you…its a tee-joint…its a question of where to rather than how to…..
Jadoo ki Jhappi
May 17th, 2007 at 12:12 am
Ozzie boy - i thoroughly understand
the classic Cache 22 paradox - u dont get a job because ur not experienced..and u wont get experience untill u get a job !!!!
Just hang in there and keep trying buddy … things come for those who stick by their passion
May 17th, 2007 at 3:09 am
join da club mate :-)
May 17th, 2007 at 6:31 am
oz.. kya boloon yaar mein… except… been there. it’s sad that good talent has to suffer at the hands of miss nail polish because apparently your nails don’t match upto hers. but in an offer to help you earn whatever bucks to make that ghost smaller… look thru your old stuff and see if you have junk that you don’t use/didn’t know existed. then put it up on ebay.. you’d be surprised :) wishing u all the best bro… :)>-
May 17th, 2007 at 7:58 am
Oz,
Been there done that. Not a good feeling… at least for me. Bills need to be paid no matter what…spend that 30 bucks very very carefully :-). racking up balance on credit card is not good either. I say- join the work force and continue with your passion side by side, so you are in a win-win situation.
Just my 2 cents worth. You know what is best for you.
Cheers!
May 17th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Not an easy thing to do but Hang in there Oz. Things will turn around soon.
lots of hugs
May 17th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Oz follow your dream man!!! You are obviously passionate about cinema so pursue it. With your corporate world experience etc. i am sure you can get part time/free lance gigs to help pay your bills etc. So hang in there
May 17th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
oz // job, wife, kids, bah! that’s all well and good. but what about the life? what would life be without those alluring dreams that stay within the range of eyesight yet are always just that extra bit away from reach. as well the enduring issues, please do have hope - do hope for those triumphant thundering times that would return with a bang. there are so many superlatives, in my mind, to describe you - amazing, magical, suspenseful, ambitious, confident, exhilarating, friendly. what i added to that list after your resignation are - courageous, and hopeful. your story itself, with all this multi sub-plotting, is an intricate screenplay, my friend. but, unfortunately we don’t get no spoilers - gotta live it thru to realize the ending.
May 18th, 2007 at 2:10 am
OZ, kya kahoon yaar. Yahan se ek e-jadoo ki jhappi!! Shayad koi jadoo dikha jaye.
May 18th, 2007 at 6:26 am
Listen Oz, I don’t know why you should listen to me but all the same here’s my advice.
Been following you for a few months now & whatever I have read of you, I think you are the right person to pull this through.
There are films in everybody’s head. M sure there are a few good films in you too. So stop doing the rounds of the ‘industry’ which asks about your experience & just get that experience. Just make a movie of your own. However, small it might be…doesn’t matter. I am sure you can construct your own team to pull this through.
I sincerely b’liv this is the way & u CAN do it. doesnt’ sound easy but I don’t think you thought it’s gonna be easy.
Give it a thought
:)>-
May 18th, 2007 at 8:43 am
- Thank you all for your kind words… Over to the next chapter :)
May 19th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Oz, the film industry is highly unstructured and it is an industry that values insiders and youth (as you pointed out).
In my mind, there are three ways to go about it -
1. Become an insider. This will likely mean joining at a very junior position and perhaps in a free position. But this shows commitment and you are now on the inside. Hopefully your experience will show through and you will be able to rise faster than your peers. The issue is that people will tell you that you are too qualified for the jobs. Convince them you still want the jobs.
2. Convince someone you know to take you on. You know a lot of filmmakers. I am sure one of them will give you a break. From there, you learn about the business and make contacts that can help you move forward.
3. You do your own thing. If you are getting too frustrated by 1 and 2, the option is to do #3. For this you either write a script and bang on doors, go to school (USC or UCLA both have good programs to train producers), or start producing people’s shorts. I have a friend who, with no experience in producing, went on craigslist and found a movie that needed a producer. He worked with the team to help raise money and now they are doing pre-production in Chicago.
As far as I know, those are the three options for someone who wants to be a producer. I am sure there are others. None of them guarantees instant money, but maybe some consulting will help pay the bills while you follow your dream?
May 20th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light.
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:37 am
(1) Jehi ke jehi par satya sanehu
So tai milehin nahin kachu sandehu
(Curtesy: Ram Charit Manas)
(For which you have true love, that will be obtained by you, and its beyond doubt)
(2)Jahan rasta nahin koi, wahan mein banaunga
meri jindagi se mile jinhe hoslon ki talash ho
(Where no path is seen, I will pave the way,
Those who search courage, should meet me)
Hope soon brain, passion and bank again walk with hands in hands.
Sabbatical is not bad, neither from regular job or regular passion, till the air blow in favourable direction.
All the best
take care
May 31st, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Ok starting young was true 2 decades ago, not anymore…nowadays with a life-span upto 75-80 years, most ppl will change their career atleast 2-3 times according to a study. So going into a new career in the 30’s is nothing to worry about. Most important thing is passion for your work, and if you have the passion, it doesnt matter if your 30 or 60.
Good luck! :)