Desi Train

This is so fucking addictive. Since morning, I’ve done nothing. Nothing. NOTHING. Besides, clicking on PFC and checking the latest posts and comments. Damn it! VP calls “oz, how about having the meeting today?” It’s the monthly meeting I have with the VP. But the posts on PFC are too fucking addictive. Vice President can go to hell. “VP, I have a major emergency at one of our locations, some servers need urgent replacement… lets do this tomorrow”

Major Emergency? The only fucking emergency on my desk is my hand subconsciously moving the mouse over the refresh button every 5 seconds.

Have to do something and get away from some FUCKING PRETTY EXCITING DISCUSSIONS… so much so that I missed writing something on my own blog yesterday. It’s rare to miss writing on a weekday and I ended up doing just that.

I have to watch this addiction. Especially at a time when I’m trying to kick my only other addiction, and no, it’s not blondes… (I do brunettes too)… its Cigarettes.

Eighteen years. It started in my second year of college with AD introducing me to the most lethal legalized drug on Mother Earth. I remember I was tense. I had done miserably in my exams and AD came up with the idea of me having a smoke to “ease of the tension”. Incidentally AD is the same guy who introduced me to… Alcohol.

So there sitting behind the temple he brings in two cigarettes bought from my money. One for himself (he was a regular smoker) and one for me. Then he started teaching me how to smoke.

“Take a drag, hold, suck air, blow it out”

The coughs there should have been an indicator that the fucking smoke I was taking in was being rejected by my body. But No. I’m tensed. And Cigarettes relieve tension.

Eighteen years later I’m still smoking. And have a shit load of tensions. AD, I need to kick your ass, the next time I land in Bombay.

It’s not that I haven’t tried to quit. I have. About 32 times so far. Success lasted from 4 minutes to 4 months.

My first major success was when I tried those Nicotine patches. I slowly gave those cigarettes away. Only to pick them up a week later. I think I was drinking at a bar when that intense pang for a smoke rose up in my system.

Fine. Drinking will get me back to smoking, so I’m not gonna drink the next time I quit smoking. That time came about two years later. No drinking, No smoking. Nicotine patches are on. Finish the entire fucking 10 – 12 week course of sticking those patches on my arm.

Longest time, that helped me stay off cigarettes. 4 months. Then, I do I break up with my only love. Go boating on the weekend. Come back start drinking. Buy cigarettes. Ex Smoker becomes ex-non-smoker. Fuck!

Breaking up and drinking make me smoke. No more falling in love. Drinking? I’ll stick to beer. Many attempts. No result.

Then I come across this book :

The Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Join the Millions Who Have Become Nonsmokers Using the Easyway Method

I buy it, flick through two pages. Fuck it. It doesn’t look of any help.

Buy those hypnotic tapes which go “You are not smoking. Smoking is bad. Smoking is not good. You do not desire cigarettes… yada yada yada” – the only thing that did for me was make me lose interest… sure… but not in cigarettes… I lost complete interest in … cough cough… sex.

FUCK!

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Trash the hypnotic tapes away. Buy those sublime music tapes – you know those where you hear some putting you to sleep music and even those you don’t hear it, some one is talking to you… it’s kind of can’t-be-hear-by-human-ear but positive statements are relayed in words sandwiched in those music tapes that are grasped by your sub conscious mind.

Four weeks into listening those sublimal tapes, I found myself slapping on the face, anyone that irritated or made me angry. Four victims. Room mate. Office colleague. Checkout girl at the mall. Salesman with a stiff upper lip, arrogant attitude at a store in Rodeo Drive.

Trashed those tapes. God know what fucking messages they have stuffed in that music.

Went back to The Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Join the Millions Who Have Become Nonsmokers Using the Easyway Method

Read it all. All the time looking for the message which would say “this is how you give up cigarettes”. Finished the book from start to end. That fucking message never came. Re-read it again when something clicked. Allen Carr – the book’s author claims to have the highest success rate – 60% and up against all other smoke cessation products which stand at a mere 2% to 6%.

No cigarettes for a month. Cool. No pangs no nothing. Awesome. Then someone I was dating, gives me a shock. 5 minutes later, I barge into my roommates bedroom demanding a cigarette.

“But you don’t smoke oz”

No I need one now

“Sorry, I don’t want to give you one. You’ll go back to smoking”

I’m tensed. The blonde just shocked the hell out of me. I need one right now

“Sorry”

I FUCKING BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME A CIGARETTE RIGHT NOW.

The message then may have become very clear to my poor roommate. He handed me his entire cigarette pack.

That was two years ago.

But Allen Carr’s book did help. No products. No tapes. No nothing. Now he’s bringing his 5 hour seminar to Los Angeles. This Friday. Gonna give it one more try.

Land on his site to register for the seminar. FUCKING 400 BUCKS!!!

That’s my 3 month cigarette budget. But what the hell, let’s give this another shot…

So I’m gonna go. Because I am giving up this addiction, with any help possible… even if it costs 400 fucking bucks. Will it help? Or won’t? Only time will tell.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 25th, 2006 at 2:50 pm
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