Desi Train

[Updated June 27, 2006]

This post and the pictures in it are based on real events that took place in oz’s life on Friday, June 23rd 2006.

. . . . . .

Friday 3pm. I’m back at work pacing around to wrap the week up when Mo calls.

“Yo Dog, What’s the plan for the night?”

I really haven’t given it a thought. For once I wanted to go out and chill. Have a few drinks and unwind.

“No sarging tonight Mo. But I’ll be glad to go out and have a few”

“Damn it bro!!! Mitch and Orn are coming because of you”

I forgot about it completely. Mitch and Orn were two shy early 30s Software geeks whom I had met at the Juggler Method class in Los Angeles. They wanted to hang out with me and help them through the anxiety of approaching and attracting women in a social setting. I wasn’t in a mood. I just wanted to go out and enjoy my drinks which I couldn’t if I was gonna be doing pickup.

So we decide that I’ll simply approach people and open them up, and immediately invite the gang to the set. After they would start talking I would eject back to my bar table for another round of beer and unwinding.

But things don’t turn out the way you plan. Not always though.

Friday. June 23, 2006. 9:30pm.

Pierce Street Annex. Costa Mesa, California.

Mitch and I walk into the bar. It’s a medium sized place. Has a dance floor, a bar and bar tables all around. But what I like about it is that it has a decent sized patio which is where I like to hang out.

While walking through the bar towards the patio I notice 4 Indians sitting on a table. They are all glum, silent, barely talking to each other and have that very serious look on their faces.

. . . . . .

3 hours later.

Mo is going all out approaching and socializing. I’m going back and forth… approaching groups of people, talking to them, inviting Mitch and Orn over and then ejecting so Mitch and Orn can start talking. It’s midnight. It’s been a long time (a few years actually) since I had anything besides beer. The mood was right. I’m a bit relaxed and order a Bacardi and coke… when I notice standing behind me…

is one of the Desis from the table of four. He is standing there, hands in pockets, glum look, drooping shoulders… not a good sign. I open him up…

“Hi you doin?…”

He smiles “Good. Thank you”

“Are you Indian?”

“Yeah…” His face lights up. That’s good.

“I saw you and your friends at the table. You’ve been sitting there for 3 hours. Have you met and talked to people around”

“No”

“Go get your friends. Let’s get you off your asses and make you the favorites of all right here right now”

He goes in and gets his friends. We exchange the usual pleasantries. They are all software engineers and have been in the US for just a few months. The fact that they are at a bar in one of the club rich areas in OC, shows that they would love to go out and socialize… but their lack of social experience prevents that from happening.

The four were from Kerala, Rajashthan, Delhi 1, Delhi 2.

Two of them carry those ladies glass drinks (yeah those which have the cute umbrellas), they have a very shy body posture, their voices are soft and low, they are dressed as Ram Bharose Accountants, there is a slight trace of anxiety when they speak… all signs of being an AFC. They remind me what oz was a few years ago. I feel for them.

It was time to go on Mack overdrive…

“So how many of you would love to fuck a white chick tonight?”

It’s a loaded question. And I do it on purpose to shock the pants out of Desis who have gone out with me in the past. It’s also to show them the path to becoming an animal in a club. That path isn’t in your comfort zone, it is shocking, it is silly and it never makes sense.

None answered, still reeling under the weight of the question. I talk some more, throw in a few light comic laced insults at the group. That has them waking up from the slumber. They start talking. The smiles are wider, they joke back and the conversation is flowing. As Thakur Baldev Singh would have said “Loha garam hain… maar do hathod” (Hinglish : Iron hot, slam hammer)

And I do…

oz : “Listen guys… lets start talking to people. Its easy, its fun. Let’s get you talking to hot women around here.”

They : “But we don’t know anybody. How can we go and just talk to people?”

oz : “Point anyone to me and I’ll go and talk to them. And observe how I do that”

I think it was Kerala who pointed a 3 guy set behind me: “Can you talk to them?”

I spin around: “Hey guys how’s it going?”

I talk some more and spin back to Desi 4. “See?”

They are still not convinced. Someone in the Desi 4 points to a two girl set. “Can you talk to them?”

They still need some convincing. I look at the two girl set. I had spoken to them earlier. They were there with their 4 aunts and I had opened them up and had them laughing off their seats a few hours ago, while helping Mitch and Orn.

“Sure”

I look at them with a wide smile point to them to come to me.

“Hey Girls come-on over here. Meet my friends from India”

The girls come over and start talking to us.

oz has proved himself to Desi 4. Job done.

After the girls leave. I give them pointers on how they were talking… “Don’t lean in. Have a stronger stance. Hands never in your pockets. The smile should never leave your face…” and some other stuff which I don’t remember now… I hope they do.

I then asked each of them to start approaching people I would point them to. Kerala went first. When he came back I could see what he was feeling. He was surprised how warmly people responded back to him “Point me to another set and I’ll go” he was on fire. So I sent him to another set.

Rajasthan was getting excited, so I sent him off to a two guy set. “But they are guys?”. It doesn’t matter. You first establish social proof in a club. Women will just flow in after that. As Mystery always says “Game the club… Not the women”

Rajasthan approaches the set and it blows open. He smiles. I see that he is surprised. And he’s enjoying it.

Kerala meanwhile is animatedly talking to the girl-guy set I had sent him to. He rushes back and is excited. I give him some tips and sent him packing off to another.

Meanwhile Delhi 2 has disappeared. I guess he doesn’t like it. Delhi 1 is still feeling anxiety. And the best way to get over it was to send him to open a set…

The night gets hot and exciting. Kerela topped it. I could see that he was a natural. He would pop in and start touching the girls in a set (friendly) - which takes ages to learn. Next was Rajasthan. These two were on fire. Kerala didn’t realize it, but he was an inch close to kissing a woman and getting her number. Ofcourse since he couldn’t calibrate the situation he missed seeing how deep and comfortable he had made the woman he was talking to. I was amazed by the results. Either they were naturals or must have been reading about pickup.

Delhi 1 was still shy. But he was opening a few. Delhi 2, I didn’t see much of except in the end where he threw in a few shit tests at me. Guys this is a definite no no. If you have friends like these, the best way to tackle them is IGNORE. Your focus should always be on the goal and not get entangled with the shit thrown in by your friends or anyone in your group. Best way is not talk to them about the Game.

Here is how things developed in pictures for you. I always carry my Canon in the field - there’s a powerful routine I use with my camera that Savoy had taught me. Friday night that camera came for another good use. It helped me track the Desi 4 in pictures and then show to them what they were before the oz Pep Talk and what they had become at the end of the night. Smooth Sweet Approach Machines.

I’m sure Kerala and Rajasthan had one of the best nights since they landed in the US. I hope they keep going out and practice like Friday night. In about 3 months they should have their diary full of hot beautiful women’s numbers and dates with them.

Seeing their progress brought tears to my eyes. oz had just turned a group of glum-sitting-by-themselves desis into lean mean smooth approach machines. God… its moments like these that I treasure… oz class is now open for another round of Desis who are in the AFC Zone. oz Pep Talk starts again this coming Friday at a club near you… ;)

Pic 1

This pic is before I had them going out and approaching people in the bar.

1. Delhi 2 has the girl drink glass in his hands. Definite no no. Firstly your hands should be always empty. But if you do wanna have a drink it should never be that glass. Please guys… NEVER EVER DO THIS.

2. Compare Kerala’s body language with the others in the group. He is relaxed, comfortable and isn’t afraid to touch the male members in his team.

Delhi 1 and Delhi 2 need a stronger body stance and have to be more alpha in a social setting. It doesn’t show in the picture, but Delhi 1 has his hands in his pockets (shyness, uncomforted) while Delhi 2 is looking down (not ready to handle a setting which is outside his comfort zone)

Pic 2

1. Kerala had done a few approaches by now. But it takes time to break a bad habit - he is bending forward here. Never do that. His body should have been straight up and erect. You can bend forward after you’ve reached a comfort stage with the woman… where you are holding her, kissing her… but until then… you get the point.

2. Hands are in his pockets. His inner system still holds him back… shyness, social anxiety or something else… get the hands out of your pockets man!

3. Notice the shoulder of the girl. She’s still not sure. Her mind says… let’s move on and get away… She is about to turn away from Kerala. He isn’t an alpha in her eyes. But Kerala persisted on and this was the girl that I mentioned earlier, where if Kerala knew a bit of the game he could have easily kissed her.

Pic 3

Kerala again! He was on fire by now. He would go talk to people I point him out to approach, come back, get my observations and jump in back to the next group of people that I would point him to approach.

1. The girl is having fun. Kerala is making her smile. She’s comfortable. Kerala didn’t know that I had opened her up earlier during the evening for Mitch. So she’s familiar with me and jokes if I’m gonna put her pic on the internet. I go yeah “I’m going to use Photoshop to strip your clothes off and put them on MySpace” She cracked up. The state of mind she is in is what PUAs target for. Kerala is smiling and doing well with her.

2. His body is straight. Good. But the distance is too much. That’s the distance when you open a girl, but you have to slowly reduce the distance as you start talking… coming closer and closer, as she gets comfortable and more comfortable. The closeness is quite essential to sub communicate that you like her. It is always equally essential to start the Kino process - lightly touching her (high fives, tapping her arm while talking to her, etc.)

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Pic 4

My first test on them for social proofing. Typically men don’t go and talk to girls who don’t look good, girls who are overweight, or girls who aren’t attractive in the eyes of those men.

Never do that. I know many methods out there who would say just approach the hottest chicks in the club. But for me, its equally important to bring the goodness out in you. If selfishness is pickup then I’m not for it. Pickup is a tiny part in the art of spreading warmth and being open to everyone. Yes, EVERYONE. You don’t have to pickup unattractive girls, but atleast socialize with them. Even if you don’t like the looks of a woman… go ahead approach her, bring a smile to her lips… You have love and warmth in your heart… show it!!!

1. It’s Rajasthan time here. I sent him in to talk to a cute woman who was overweight, and besides her group - no one else in the entire bar was talking to her.

Rajasthan had the most likeable alpha male body stance the entire evening. He had a strong stance which was never threatening (men make a mistake thinking being an alpha means being an aggressive bully). Here notice the direction of his sight. Absolutely perfect. He is looking right into the eyes of the woman.

2. She is reciprocating back. She likes him and is looking right back in his eyes, her body is turned so much towards him. That’s a strong IOI (Indicator of Interest)

3. Distance… distance… distance…!!!! Move closer my man!

4. The angle!!! He’s slightly turning away from her. He had been talking to her for a few minutes now. The body should be turned completely into her. His body direction shows, he is not into her and is hesitant to keep the conversation going.

Pic 5

1. Delhi 1 is a nice guy, shy and very anxious in his approach. I had him approach a 2 guy set here. Sometime the hurdle to approaching women can be overcome by simply approaching guys first, talking to them, getting the approach blood flowing all through your system and bam - you are on! Here Delhi 1 is anxious, his hands are in his pockets and he’s turned away from the set. The distance is abnormally huge. You yourself wouldn’t talk to a person who is angled away from you, standing far from you and has his hands in his pockets. Its a very closed body stance. Get rid of it.

2. Distance, distance, distance… Aye yay ya!!!!

Pic 6

1. She’s cute. I had opened her and had her sit on my lap earlier during the evening, because Orn just wasn’t feeling comfortable in approaching her. It was only when she got this comfortable that Orn had walked in and I ejected so he could take over.

We met an hour later when I was with Desi 4. I immediately pushed Delhi 1 to approach her. I helped him out by yelling “Hey, meet my handsome friend from India”… and she started giggling. A fantastic state of mind to have a girl in, right at the time of approaching her.

2. This is a perfect example of how Distance affects your game. Both of them have to stretch their arms to shake hands. Delhi 1 should move closer.

The handshake with a girl has to be firm yet very soft, grip yet don’t clasp it, hold never shake and take your left arm to cover the back of her palm. Try to go for a two hand shake with the women you approach. It’s another form of sub communication that you like her.

3. Body direction. He’s turned away from her. He’s letting me be the leader by slightly looking at me. When you approach a woman, You are the ALPHA, YOU ARE THE LEADER, YOU ARE THE MAN, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MAKES HER SAFE, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MAKES HER FEEL COMFORTABLE… Get this in your sub consciousness and your body stance and directions will be taken care of - right away!

But you can always use this body slightly turned away from your target position - when you approach a woman. It’s non-threatening. But slowly turn your body towards her within a minute.

Pic 7

1. Rajasthan approaches a sitting woman. Classic example. She’s sitting. He’s standing. He should have pulled a chair and taken a seat right after opening her. Or he could have done a “take-her-hand-routine” and pulled her up from the chair.

2. This is to show my body position that I use most of the time. My back is always leaning on the wall flat out. Relaxed yet strong body, standing on one leg while the other leg is bent and the foot rests on the wall, a hand rests on the thigh of the bent leg and women find this position very very very alpha, non threatening and a huge (trust me) turn on.

Pic 8

1. Classic example of women watching you in a social setting. This is the same girl that Kerala was talking to in Pic 3. She’s observing how oz and Desi 4 are mixing with people all around the club, talking to them and having a good time. BIG POINTS. If anyone from the Desi 4 approached her now, she would just melt right away in his arms. Notice she is touching her self and facing towards Rajasthan who is talking to an all guy set. The moment Rajasthan turns from the set BANG guess who he runs into!!!! She’s created a perfect position to talk to one of the guys she’s getting “very” attracted to in the Desi 4 group. Unfortunately Rajasthan wasn’t aware of it and kept talking too long with the guy set - no problem… Friday was just the start of good things to come for him.

2. This shows Rajasthan has no social anxiety. His body is straight, but shoulders are a bit droopy. But that’s ok since it’s your first pickup night. He is relaxed and enjoying the conversation.

3. The two guy set are talking to each other and though it doesn’t show in the pic they would look at Rajasthan, time and again, involving him in the conversation too. Good. But not that good. An ideal scenario in oz books is that Rajasthan would be talking about an interesting subject or story and the two guys would be looking at him totally interested in what he was saying.

Pic 9

1. This was a cutie with her boyfriend. But our man on fire - Kerala had no hesitation in talking to set when I asked him to approach them. The girl isn’t too much into him. The approach is weak and the girl isn’t too excited when she sees a camera pointing at her. She blew Kerala out. No problem. You will always get women like these in the field. There will be more women who will blow you out than the women who will be attracted to you. Your losses may be many and your wins will always be less. But whenever you win attraction points they will be huge… quite huge. Crash and burn. Crash and burn. Crash and burn. That is the only way to become a PUA or a socially affable guy.

2. Her body turning away from him shows no interest. Kerala is turned away from her too. He should have ploughed through, irrespective of the kind of reactions he received. You can never change a woman’s mind but you can always change her emotions. That may come in 60 seconds or 60 minutes.

You just gotta keep your eye on THE GAME - THE PROCESS and never on the woman.

3. Distance, Distance, Distance… wonder why she wasn’t interested in him? Hell ya!!!

Pic 10

She’s the cousin of the girl in Pic 6, that Delhi 1 had opened. They had come in with their aunts and I had gone ahead and opened the group to let Mitch in. Now 2 hours later, the cousin has realized how fun and exciting oz and his friends are. So she walks up to me and starts talking.

An hour later, I call her over and get Rajasthan and Kerala to talk to her. She’s a nice lady, fun and very interesting. Very intelligent.

1. Rajasthan is leaning in. If you can’t hear… don’t lean, don’t ask her to repeat what she said… simply don’t hear… trust me… it’s a good practice that you will bring to great use when you get married.

2. She’s excited. She’s enjoying the company. Big IOI.

3. Kerala is a fast learner. He’s leaned back and looking right in her eyes.

4. SHE’S TOUCHING RAJASTHAN!!!! SHE IS INTERESTED IN HIM!!!!

Pic 11

1 & 2. These two dudes just let themselves loose. Naturally touching her. Ummm…. One at a time guys. I only hope the touching her was from an alpha perspective and not as a form of supplication. Both have a good body position, though now Kerala could have stopped talking and posed for the pic. You should be able to turn away from the woman too at the right times to show that she is NOT THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD IN THIS BAR.

3. Ok I’m being naughty here. But I ran an advanced routine which had her literally taking her breasts and placing them in my hands. The look on Rajasthan and Kerala’s eyes was worth a million bucks. I wish I could have snapped their reaction when the lady in red asked me to hold her tits. Damn it. I wish I had a third hand to click the facial reactions of Rajasthan and Kerala ;)

Ok here’s the advance routine. You can do this ONLY when you have made her VERY comfortable and both of you are talking about any damn thing in the world including sex. You have to be really close in terms of the physical distance to the woman to do this. By really close… I really mean REALLY CLOSE. PLUS you should have already done massive kino on her before running this routine. The whole routine should run in a very silly, wild joking mood which shows up in your body and your facial expressions.

oz with a quizzed expression looking right at her breasts : “Are those real? They are huge”

Girl: “Ofcourse they are!!!”

oz: “No way. You are shitting me. It’s silicon”

Girl: “Comeon !!! Touch them”

oz touches breasts, she giggles, oz giggles. We both know we are just messing playfully with each other. You could go in for the kiss if you were attracted to her. But ofcourse there are other simpler more preferable ways to land the first kiss.

Pic 12

1. Mo my man!!! Look at his comfort zone. It’s stretched far and wide.

3. The two girls are sisters and they are BOTH interested in Mo. Notice how she’s leaning into him. That’s what you get when you take your ass off the sofa, throw your beer away, switch off the TV, walk out, drive to the nearest club and start having fun.

2. The other sister. Shoulders turned towards Mo. She’s smiling and is about to kiss Mo. It’s a Girl Code. By kissing Mo, she let her sister know that Mo WAS HERS… Hands off Sister He’s MINE!!!

. . . . . .

And so it was done. I was overjoyed. Moist eyes et all. The only downside to the exciting evening was when the Desi 4 left, only Delhi 1 walked to me to shake my hand and thank me for the wonderful evening. The others stood 20 feet away and waved a good bye. Not that it matters. But in the PUA world, the Gurus always watchout and keep away from such “Take and Run” guys. During my initial days of learning the game, I had a hard time breaking the mould. Gurus were very apprehensive because of the way a few Desis had shown this thankless nature. Ofcourse it took a lot of oz persuasion to convince them not all desis are like that. Such people exist in all cultures.

Take the extra step guys. If someone helps you out, walk up to him or her, shake his hand and thank him from the bottom of your heart for showing you an exciting new world you always thought you could never step into.

The journey’s just going to turn sweeter and sweeter from here on…. ;)

Update June 27, 2006

Rajasthan emailed me this morning and gosh… I’m am going so senti… Here’s his email (minus some of his personal details)

Hi Oz/… (let me know which name you prefer),

This is ‘Rajasthan’ reporting!

First of all, thank you for making us look like Rock Stars on your
blog.

Another thank you, for making Friday the 23rd a truly memorable
evening for me and my friends … I know I can speak on their
behalf.

I had absolutely no idea how closely you were observing things and how this was all so well thought out.

I do detect a sad note towards the fag end of your (most enjoyable) post, triggered by us not expressing our thanks perhaps as much you had expected. Let me make amends right here…. Your effort to reach out to help us, is truly appreciated from the deepest, even darkest, corners of my heart. Had we not met you, the evening would have beena drab, boring failure…and if I may speculate, I would never have gone to a nightclub in the US for long time in the future. I did notice your misty eyes, and the warm smile, when the evening was coming to a close. I know we did not really express our thanks to you appropriately (though I do distinctly remember shaking your hand and you only gave Delhi 1 the credit…but that’s putting too fine a point on it). We may be drab, Ram Bharose, clueless boring desis, but we are certainly not ungrateful.

I felt that night, and do feel even now …that it took a great soul
like you to first take any interest in us and then think about what
our problem was and then do your best to make things better. It was awesome on your part and THANK YOU THANK YOU once again…. Please do not let our behaviour discourage you from helping more guys (girls too?) like us.

I have said a lot of thank yous already, but I still feel they are
not enough. What you did was much more than just helping us open up and talk to a few girls….. When one is in an alien country away from family and close friends, lots of work pressure, adjustments all have a combined effect to just pull you down and make you feel all gloomy…What you did the other night, was to light the bulb was confidence my mind that even if I am not in my comfort zone of people and surroundings, I can still be liked and accepted……and that means a LOT! So THANK YOU yet again….and do let this stop you from helping others…

It’ll take me some time to go through all your blog posts, but
meanwhile, it’ll be great if you can write back on my email address

It sure would be great to hear from you!

Have a good night!

A

[End of Update]

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This entry was posted on Monday, June 26th, 2006 at 11:18 am
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