Friday Wrap
Friday again. And in a few hours we’ll be free for the next 48 odd hours. Come to think of it, a 9 - 5 job, does have its benefits. It gives you a sense of excitement each week, every week. Think about it. You are jailed every Monday and released every Friday for 48 hours. Monday morning they bring you back in.
This screenwriting class is interesting. Started a few days ago. I’m confused though. Everything defined in terms of structure, methodology and flow, most of us movie fanatics may already know at a subconscious level. Maybe not in those text-book defined words. It’s interesting to note that the Greeks first came up with the concept of a “play”. And the origins of the “play” as rightly pointed by our feverish reader WB, can be found in the Upanishads. They are mentioned in a passing reference in this class I’m taking.
But the confusion comes from the method and content of the class. The three step process for a screenplay taught to all, will give us (the audience) the same cookie-cutter stories. Names, place and characters may change. But the basic story would remain the same. Is this why every film looks like a carbon copy of the last one we saw?
For me taking this class was to find the guidelines to be drawn that will prevent me from making the same mistakes which others may have committed.
But when these guidelines are taken as definitions/routes based on which a story should be formulated, there is a problem. The class knowledge becomes a barrier to think creatively, restricting the thought process to a confined area.
But if the barrier is viewed as a constructive restriction that prevents you from falling into the valley of mistakes that many writers before us have committed - understood and documented, then its time to play and let the creative mind zoom in the infinite space for it to create spellbinding stories.
Unfortunately the guidelines in screenwriting may be and are usually, considered as guidelines for confined-restrictive creative writing, the result being movies don’t explore or stretch the imagination anymore.
So what else is happening? Bikram Yoga everyday. And the yoga studio is overflowing with perfect 9s and 10s. But at the end of the 90 minute torture, I’m so exhausted I can barely smile, leave alone approach them. I know it’s an excuse. Perhaps the approach fear is sneaking back. Gonna take care of it this weekend.
For SD, AmitK and Vikas : Guys, there is no clear way to get over the approach fear. Being from India and having lived through a particularly strict upbringing, the middle class environment and the culture, you and I, right from childhood, have been taught to not talk to strangers, not open up so quickly, to be nice guys etc. etc. The result is we are still doing the same things. And it is not working in a society where you are rewarded for been outgoing, social and adventurous.
I know what you guys are going through. Approaching women freezes you. It did to me in the past. And you know what - it still does. Sometimes I just freeze up and can’t approach any woman for the entire evening.
Truth of the matter is the fear will always remain there. Even when you turn into Gurus of Pickup.
Since we are intelligent educated men, our brains are the real reason why we are gripped with fear. First ofcourse is the brainwashing which was done since childhood as explained above. The second is our brains, which start building various scenarios in our head when we think of approaching a woman. And trust me ALL the scenarios which our brain pictures in our heads - show negative results. Fear, Shock, Losing Face, Nervousness, Insulted in a crowd… etc. etc. So what do we do? We end up believing in the logic dished out by our brains and end up sitting on our fucking bar stools for 4 hours and go home without talking to one single woman.
Here’s my 3 week plan to get rid of the approach fear. I formed it a few years ago, once I realized that is what was preventing me from enjoying the company of beautiful women. And whenever I feel the fear again, I simply take this exercise again, which I will this weekend onwards.
1. STOP THINKING. YOU WILL NOT USE LOGIC. YOU WILL NOT THINK THAT - “This is too silly/insulting/stupid etc..” - Well the fact of the matter is that you will only get a woman by doing silly stupid stuff that are OUT OF THE ORDINARY. If you can’t do that… I can’t help you, but maybe your therapist could.
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2. Smile wherever you go and Say “Hi” to every woman and man that crosses your way. - You MUST say HI whether they are looking at you or not. You MUST keep saying HI whether they respond back to you or not. 30 “Hi”s to women at the minimum every day for the next 3 days. (I got this from a Ron Luis and David Copeland book - How to succeed with woman. Don’t read it. It’s way amateurish advice). And please approach all types of women. Young, Old, Hot, Average looking, not so good looking. IN SHORT : EVERY WOMAN THAT YOU WALK BY SHOULD HEAR A “HI” FROM YOU.
3. Next 3 days : Approach 30 women each day. Again approach all kinds of women and don’t fucking filter the women out based on “Oh she was not that hot looking”…. Goal: Ask for directions. Ask for the nearest Chinese restaurant (or something like it)… What’s the most happening/hottest bar/club in the area?
Ask atleast one of the questions.
She gives the answer. Yes , no, don’t know whatever.
Thank her, offer your hand for the shake, give your name
If she responds with her name back… Compliment her on something you liked about her. I usually go for the eyes.
Leave.
The most difficult part for you, incase you are a gone-case like me will be - COMPLIMENTING HER. BUT DO IT. 30 WOMEN each day for the next 3 days.
And yes. Please keep smiling when you do Point 3. Infact you now will always carry a smile on your face.
Another thing to remember is make a note of the body language. Search for Alpha Body Language here on Desi Train. It will give you an idea of what you have to do.
And most importantly - Please do not supplicate or show puppy love interest in any of the 180 women you will approach in the next 6 days.
Think of Amitabh Bachchan in Deewar or Shakti (Shakti had Amitabh peaking in his alpha image). See how he approached women in his movies. Body was always leaning back, head held high, minimum movements, and hands were never in the pockets, rather they were hanging by his sides.
Note 1: You will start feeling a tremendous burst in confidence after doing 3 - 4 approaches.
Note 2: If you come across a woman who is rude to you, you may tend to stop, go home, get drunk and cry. STOP. Nothing should affect you. Nothing. You are the prize and if she didn’t realize that it’s her bad luck. Move on. There are plenty of fish and your world should not end just because one stupid idiot doesn’t know how to be socially polite to strangers.
Email me your results and I’ll put in the exercises for the next 6 days.
Meeting “T” this evening. She’s going to a film makers meet tomorrow and it will be interesting to listen about the meet from her. Making plans to not do anything on Sunday and complete the first chapter for the next fiction. Its taking a form that is frightening me now. Maybe I should write more erotic novels than chase thrillers… :)
So until we meet next, be real bad or mildly good, stay safe and having a rocking weekend.
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May 19th, 2006 at 2:48 pm
I don’t know if this helps — but most of my friends and I included aren’t “mean” to men when they say “hi” or give us compliments. Everyone likes getting a compliment — it’s just nice — as long as the person is respectful. Even when someone “hits” on me and I tell them I’m married — if they’re respectful it’s totally cool. It’s only when I get comments lik, “well that’s okay with me if you’re married” do I want to slap the sh*t out of someone and potentially use very vulgar language. When I first met my husband (at a party) he was just very authentic and real (no bologna).. he didn’t brag about his job or his salary or his education.. he didn’t even hit on me.. we just talked (he was attentive and he listened) and that was so incredibly refreshing. From my perspective (I’m 26) and most of my girlfriends, men tend to go awry when they try to impress a girl — be yourself and if she doesn’t appreciate that — screw her — you’ll find someone that does.
May 19th, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Oz, I am in the same league as SD, AmitK and Vikas. Thanks for the tips.. your alpha posts were one of the firsts I read here..
after my graduation.. Cal is in my list and Orange County is a defi stop to get some more tips :d
oh and thanks Ani, it was nice to get some insight straight from the horse’s mouth :)
May 20th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
There is a kind of lull on the train now that MBA gang is done… no furious refreshing or the crazy game of trying to predict the ending,,, there is a calm out here.
May 21st, 2006 at 2:18 pm
great post Oz - pua 101. coming to the movies and writing for movies every method - structured or unstructured - essentially has to answer a few questions. personally I’ll ask myself these questions if/when I write :
what’s the story about? what do I *see*? what are my intentions - as a creator? what do I want the audience to feel, see, know, think, sense? In what mood do I want my audience to leave the theater when I am done telling my story? How does this scene/dialouge (each one) contribute to the story, the pace, the character, the overall theme?
- because these are the questions I ask when I see/read… I usually let the story play the scenes on my mind screen and when someting doesn’t *look* right that’s when I know that the story is missing something.