The MBA GANG : Chapter Five
This fiction has been removed except for a brief chapter preview. oz is in talks with various parties for publishing his work and hence The MBA GANG and The Sex Addict have been taken down.
Chapter Five : The Toughest Part of Business is Starting it up
Neha’s breaths got quick and short. Her body was shaking. The second slap was harder than the first. Much harder. She lost her balance and fell on the marble floor. The next kick landed on her chest sending her sliding back. She crashed into the glass cabinets behind her. The back of her head smashed into the glass door.
Yadav bent down to catch her by the hair. He pulled her hair and dragged her back to the center of the living room.
“BOL BHENCHOD. SAALI… WHAT WERE YOU GUYS PLANNING? SPEAK UP BITCH BEFORE I USE THE BUTT OF MY GUN TO FUCK THAT SHITTY PUSSY OF YOURS… COMEON SPEAK UP”
Even if Neha wanted to open her mouth, she could not. Fear had enveloped the deepest of her bones. She was trembling uncontrollably. Every inch of her body right to the tiniest of her hair was shaking violently with fear that Yadav had injected in her.
She saw Atanu about 10 feet away from her. He lay face down. Atanu was not moving. There was a thin stream of blood rolling down from his left temple. The stream trickled down into a tiny pool of Atanu’s blood which had formed just next to where his nose touched the floor. Atanu is not moving. Atanu is not moving. Is he dead? He’s going to kill me too. God he’s going to kill me too… God please help me… please help me… please help…
May 4th, 2006 at 7:48 pm
:((
Had this been a book i would have peaked the last few pages and then go back and read from where i left of….:-?
May 4th, 2006 at 9:24 pm
The countdown has begun, Oz? I can smell the fusewire burning!
May 4th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Its getting difficult to react to the chapter’s, can’t think of ways to say i want the whole thing quick and fast….
May 4th, 2006 at 9:33 pm
- Vi, :d well you can still do that once some publisher publishes the book.
- WB, Your sixth sense is tapping right into my word pad. :) Yeah 3 - 4 more tops before “The End”
- Ravi, woops we posted right after each other. I’ll take that as a compliment :) Now find a publisher so you can read the entire book at one go :)
May 4th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
yeah!! now we are going back and forth in time. I like that variation. Makes the plot even more interesting. For a moment you are wondering …”what the hell…” and then a few pages later, you are taken back in time and the story unfolds and then everything makes sense. Brilliant!! good job.
~Manoj~
May 4th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
- Manoj, Damn!!! Do you lovely readers of DT set a one common alarm on your clocks to visit DT? :)) Thanks. Highly appreciate your compliments!!!
May 5th, 2006 at 12:17 am
Really Good…I am already thinking of what all could possibly go wrong….some last minute tamasha…:d Can’t wait for the next chapter…
May 5th, 2006 at 1:42 am
More of a movie script than a novel. Take that as a compliment, will ya? =d>
Oh, and was “Baa Baa Black Sheep” inspired from “I’m going deeper and deeper into my cave”?:-?
May 5th, 2006 at 4:01 am
/:) Yahoo Smileys.
I :x Yahoo!
Good build up and I can imagine the end.
Keep punching in the keys.
U got another reader.
Damn It, I was supposed to work :( and I read all 5 chapters.
May 5th, 2006 at 7:11 am
\:d/ wow!! i’m with you vi. i wish it was book too. I can’t take this suspense. Oz, screw work and get back to writing the next chapter.;)
May 5th, 2006 at 7:40 am
Awesome stuff dude…. Eagerly waiting for more. I agree with N. We will pay you for your 1 week of vacation. Just give us the remaining parts :-)
May 5th, 2006 at 9:03 am
When’s the next chapter due to release? Can’t wait
May 5th, 2006 at 9:16 am
How many more chapters to go,Oz unkel????
May 5th, 2006 at 11:08 am
- VC, Thanks! Next one should be up before Monday. I’m planning to wrap this up pretty soon as I’m have another short fiction waiting to take off.
- Akhil, Thanks! No not the cave, the distraction theory was based on a principle taught to me by a Martial Arts expert back in the day when I was in Bombay. I think it has also been used by Jeffery Archer or Sidney Sheldon (I may be wrong about the right author) in one of their novels.
- Kumar, Thanks! Welcome aboard :)>-
- N, Actually I would like to - screw the work and take up writing, blogging, movies etc. full time. Just haven’t found how to yet :-b
- Arun, Thanks for the generous offer!!!
- Nirav, Next chapter should be out by Sunday or Monday.
- Blog-o-ramaniac, …. oz Who?
May 5th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Oz,
Nicely done. Language is a little too strong but the story line calls for it. can’t wait for the movie to hit the screen :-)
May 5th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
hmmmn nice description.. this one is better than the previous chapter (hope you got my comment on the previous one.. :-\ )
you are mastering the scene description.. Neha-Yadav scene was =d>
May 6th, 2006 at 9:04 am
- Cliff, that’s right. It got stronger than I initially had planned cause I wanted to bring out Yadav’s personality in a few sentences.
- Pavan, Thanks. Yes I did note your last comment. The problem is there isn’t much room in this story to get technical about something. Though I guess I could about banks, finances and politics if I stretched the MBA Gang in a 1000 page odd novel. The problem is I start losing interest in a story if it gets too long. That’s the reason why I keep writing short fiction. The MBA Gang is the longest I’ve written since I first started publishing online.
But wait. The next fiction on the Doctor and his patient will be very very technical and I think you’ll enjoy it. Are you on DT’s Circle list? If so you may have seen a short preview about it. Let me add you on the list if you aren’t.
May 8th, 2006 at 10:22 am
Cant hardly wait fr the next chapter .. Make it quick :)