Desi Train

I find very few desis in clubs and bars in Southern California. And if there are some I find them huddled together so tightly, that I doubt if any air passes in and out of the group.

RK’s having a tough time. He’s hanging out with me to learn something about the game and in his own words “get himself out of the beer and TV world into the world where he can meet attractive women”

Problem with many desis (those who would rather die than approach a woman), that I’ve observed is that they are trying too hard. Their facial expressions are tight - showing nervousness, their body is in a position that it seems they are planning to run out of the club, the drink in their hand shows its their 7th or 17th drink and the manner in which they look at a woman in a club (not all of the desis do this) is as if they are stripping the women naked with their eyes… not good. RK has this problem and initially I had a hard time trying to show him all that he was doing wrong.

But first lets start with the purpose of visiting the club. Your goal to be at a bar or a club is to socialize, meet as many people as possible and above all have fun - that is if you are there to meet women. But if you enter a bar with the sole objective of talking to “a” woman, getting her number or perhaps taking her home… then your very first step has gone wrong. It’s never gonna happen.

Simply because you’ve started attaching yourself to an outcome. This will make you nervous, less alpha in your talk and actions and mostly will lead you to take wrong decisions while in the club.

RK’s approach fear comes because of that. I realized it last Saturday when he honestly spoke to me about it. Each time he leaves the house to hang out with me for his Pickup lessons, he looks in the mirror and speaks out loudly “I will get a beautiful woman tonight” - the result, he’s frozen for most of the evening and until he has downed his 4 bottles of beer before he can even make a move to talk to anyone (besides me) in the club. The problem is that after his 4 bottles, he can’t move, so making a move to approach the place overflowing with models, theater actresses and wannabe models/actresses, TV personalities and others - is completely out of question.

You should allow yourself to first be socially affable to anyone and everyone in the club. Talking and attracting the ladies will simply flow through. That should be your goal.

Second observation: Why do guys - who are trying to hit on each and every woman in a club - keep drinking in the club and carry their bottles or glasses while walking all around?

The first rule of Pickup is no alcohol. Your hands have to be free all the time, giving you complete freedom to run your routines on the people you approach. The glass in the hand acts as a barrier. It’s a “I’m on the defensive” body language - that is if you bend your elbows and hold the glass in front on you. Get rid of the glass.

A no glass in hand is also an open invitation for the women you talk to, to talk to you, to buy you a drink. Do you take that drink then? Yes ofcourse. She’s just giving you a powerful indicator of interest. Don’t be stupid. Accept the drink. Don’t drink it if you don’t want to. But do not refuse the drink.

A no glass in hand separates you from the rest of the monotonous crowd. You now look different. Women are very very very observant. They’ll immediately see your empty hands. And believe it or not the moment they see that, you have raised a small to large flicker of interest towards you in them. Who’s this guy? Why isn’t he drinking? Is he waiting for someone?

Even when RK got into opening up a group of hot looking women, he was working hard not to upset them… in short he was working very hard to please them. This is a typical “buy you a drink” or “I’ll do anything you say” kind of a guy.

Stop. Never buy a lady a drink. Not unless she’s your mother, your girlfriend, your steady date, your aunt or your boss.

The problem is once the guys get the success of opening up a hot girl or a group of girls in a bar, they are now afraid of losing them without having achieved their goals (date / phone number / bed / etc.). The result: They are afraid to show any kind of disinterest. They are afraid to pass a cocky funny negative statement. They are too afraid to say “Hey, my friends are waiting for me, I’ll catch you later maybe” and walk away from the group.

By being a “Yes man” to the her, you have just turned yourself into “just another ordinary guy” in the eyes of the girl.

You should not argue, but hey, if she threw you a disqualifier, disqualify her back. You have to show her the - real you - instantly. The real you who is emotionally strong, safe and a leader.

Simply following her commands will immediately bore her out and she along with her friends are gonna say a quick “bye” to you and move on.

There’s this set of five beautiful ladies that I asked RK to approach with an opening line that I gave to him. All the women were Indian, which is rare for me but RK is into Indian women, so he went ahead. The girls were looking over their shoulders without turning their bodies as RK started talking to them. RK had messed up the opener. He was loosing heart, feeling dejected, depressed and brutally mauled. But due to my strict instructions - that he should not leave the group and keep talking - he was simply hanging in there. Another second there and he would be crying.

The Indian women (aged 26 to 32) were beautifully using the power of ignorance, the mutual eye language amongst each other and giggling “at” what RK was saying… until I heard the beautiful words one of the women threw at RK… “Why don’t you get the fuck off and leave us alone…”

The mother of all groups. The cat-scratch group. They are there to meet men. But their shit tests are so high and intense that it mauls most of the men who approach them. I know. I’ve been royally raped (in words) by such group of “I’m higher than thou” girls many times during my AFC days.

And RK was going through exactly what I had been through in the past. Fortunately for RK, his teacher was in the house.

oz walks next to the girls, looks at RK, and at the top of his voice goes “O MY GOD… RK!!! ARE YOU RK?”

RK doesn’t know what the fucks going on. He merely nods. All 5 girls are looking at oz and then turn to RK. Their body positions have changed. They’ve created a space between them so oz can look at RK standing at the opposite end of the circle.

oz: “WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET BACK FROM TOKYO? I THOUGHT YOU HAD SETTLED DOWN THERE TO RUN YOUR FAMILY RESTAURANT BUSINESS???”

This did two things. The attention of the ladies was switched over to know about RK now. Two. RK’s value had been raised… no, make it, RK’s value was spiked up. The ladies now knew RK was a well settled, well established guy who travelled around the world.

oz: (In Dharmendra style) “KUTTE YOU COMING TO CALIFORNIA AND NOT CALLING. MAIN TERA KHOON PEE JAOONGA KUTTE”

This was a risk. There was an assumption that the ladies would identify the style. Fortunately all of them knew who I was mimicking. They cracked up. The tight circle loosened up a bit and I stepped in.

oz: You bad girls giving my esteemed friend a bad time???

Instantly disqualified the group with “bad girls”

A few giggled, a few mouthed a no.

The lady next to me was carrying an oversized purse. This was the most dominant of the group. The one that had said “fuck off” to RK. I immediately did a coin trick on her.

oz: “Your purse looks too small. Is that why you carry change behind your ears?”

I immediately took my hand next to her ear and made it seem as if I was picking a coin from behind her ears out of thin air. (Learnt this thanks to one of the best Pickup artists in the world with whom I visited every restaurant and bar that must be there in Hollywood)

The interest level of the group spiked up. All 5 of them. Two were literally jumping; one had her jaw drop while the rest of the two had their eyes so wide open that their eyeballs would have popped out.

Purse Girl : “OH MY GOD… HOW DID YOU DO THAT????”

oz: Without looking at Purse girl and talking to the rest “Hey I need your honest opinion. Would you date a guy who had dated your best friend?”

oz disqualifies Purse Girl and ignores her.

The girls moved in to answer. While they were doing that, I started a new thread about something related to my question. Hell I don’t even remember it now. I just made it up and ran the story, milking it for about 5 - 10 minutes as it seemed to be of quite an interest to the girls.

The Purse girl kept barging in between asking about the magic trick or to answer a question I was asking the rest of the 4. This, because I had slightly turned away from her and was facing the rest of the group. She didn’t like being ignored.

oz to Purse Girl (with a mocking smile): “OMG you talk a lot. Is there an off button on you that I can switch off. Now be a good girl and learn to listen”

oz to the rest: “Is she always like this?”

Off to a new thread, a new story, again please don’t ask since I don’t remember…

5 minutes later: Purse girl throws shit test at oz “Why do you shave your head?”

oz shows active disinterest back (with a fake anger and large grin on face): “Because you don’t shave your tushy.” Looking back at the rest of the girls “Gosh a jungle down there is such a big turn off for most guys… So do you girls shave or wax it off?”

Purse girl: “Hey you didn’t answer my question?”
Oz: “What am I? Your dancing monkey?”
oz turns back to the other girls… new story… blah blah…

Long story short. RK got the number of the girl he liked in the group. oz’s drinks were paid by the girls in the group. An hour later Purse Girl sexually assaulted oz next to the men’s room and pushed her number in oz’s back pocket.

Though she looked quite pretty I was put off by her bad breath when she shoved her tongue in my mouth. I hate the tongue thingy. I had to literally push her off me. Plus I knew the cause of her intense desire. It must have been rare for her to find a guy who could say “No” to her and show no interest. Now she wanted “that” guy.

In pure pickup language, I had created a “can’t have him” effect which in turn made her want the guy “even more”.

Of course she would have lost all interest had I taken her home. I didn’t. Her bad breath too, helped me make this decision.

But did we stop there? No. The talking to the group had pumped up RK’s confidence. He used that to now easily and effortlessly go and talk to more people around the room.

How much would his social skills improve the next time I see him… only time will tell.

In the end, it’s important to keep looking at the larger picture. “You” are there to have fun. “You” are there to meet new interesting people. “You” are there to socialize and network. Meeting and hooking up with attractive women will simply follow, easily and effortlessly. As one of the best Pickup Gurus once advised me - Game the Club, Not the Chick… so true, so fuckin true….

This entry was posted on Monday, May 1st, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Filed under Sex, Romance etc.
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